Saint Francis Save Me

 

Dear St. Francis,

Please save me from this crazy Italian American woman I live with. I don’t mind going fun places like Puppy Club where I get to see my friends Leo, Bella, Sophie, Brody, and Schottzie, but SCHOOL?! REALLY?! The DOG WASH?! Nail Clippings? The VET?! AGAIN?! What’s left to stick needles in me for??? All I want,  St. Francis, is to go for real fast walks and chase squirrels, but now Ma Dog puts this no-pull harness on me and uses a very stern voice to keep me by her side. A pup can hardly wiggle in one of those thingies. Who wants that? Come here? Why? I got better things to do like bury my bully stick. SIT; HEEL; WALK NICE; WAIT; STAND; COME…blah, blah, blah. Then when I chase the cats or pee on the carpet (Hey! Like I said, I’m busy. Who can stop and ask to go out when you’ve got a white-footed cat cornered in the dining room?), Ma Dog gets all cross and cranky – just like when I pull her all over the neighborhood. I mean, she’s so slow and limping. I’m a kid. I want to run. Jeez! Then, St. Francis, Ma Dog takes me to something that sounds cool – Barktoberfest at the Waterworks Park in Collegeville. Oh, wow! I’ve been to that park before for Dogs’ Night Out. Yeah, I’m thinking I might meet some of my canine buddies. But no! It’s a COSTUME event. By all the Saints’ Holy Milk Bones, she put me in a costume!!! The shame of it! St. Francis, what have I done in my short life to deserve this? What? Praise Lassie, that Brody didn’t see me there, dressed like this:

 

 

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About Wayside Artist

Lost in a field ...
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11 Responses to Saint Francis Save Me

  1. The Red Man feels your pain, O Poppy Seed, and prays that St. Francis will rescue you from the torments of your everyday life…it’s not easy being a Diva when your mom brings you down, is it? Good luck because I think your mom reminds me of the old woman Slow and that’s not good news for you. Sigh. 🙂

    • Aw shucks, Red Man!!! I’m just getting started in life. This isn’t sounding too promising. At least Ma Dog lets me grub in the dirt without throwing under the spigot every other day…sigh…but don’t get me started on combing and brushing.

  2. Nice to read from you!
    Those goggles look great on Poppy.
    Doggy must be a weird dog, he loves the groomer and the vet, plain weird.

  3. Dalton says:

    Sounds like you have the same problems as me. I am here if you need me little pal! I don’t know why they do this to us!!!

    Just keep up with the behaviour they will learn soon!

  4. Oh dear, you poor thing, shamed like that! You did look awfully cute though (to us bipeds, at least). Here’s hoping St Francis answers your prayers. 😀

  5. Uh oh! You do look great though!

Poppy checks her pee mail daily, so bark out loud!

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